Marches April Nes

I think of all the steps I have taken from you, love, out of fear. How often I have been here, on the path, to : choose. You or Not You. That's all we have here.

By you I mean me, obviously. Because, My Life... it depends on me breathing, me being. There is no : other wise.

I think of all the people I've been. All the lessons I've learned. Partners. Homes. Pets. The promise of children that become a threat. Sercurity. Illusion. Delusion. I can easily say I've experienced all of it.

But not this.. A consistency that is not consistent. Bliss in the Abyss. I used to predict every thing. Scheduled. Organized. I was prepared from Monday through Sun day. I had money. I was "success full." Stable. But there were cracks in that as well.

I was always on edge. Unable to handle the little things that would inevitably happen. There was no way I could control all of it or any of it and the idea I could... that was an illusion I had to let go of or else I literally would have killed my self.

Life is Transcience. That natural flow from one to the other. We see it's movement most easily through water. We are water and these fluctuations in life, we must allow them to flow over us, one at a time. We have to find a way to remain at our center through the detriments of both heart ache and time or else we will find our selves suffocating down the line. To attach is to hold your self in one place, often, one pain... and no one deserves this.

Last night I listened to planes. Giants. In The Sky. So loud and penetrating it was hard to control my mind. That is the world today. Constant distraction. Taking you from that center of gravity that keeps you constant and focused. Unwavering. That is what you must be in the force of things that are hundreds of times greater than you. And, not force fully, not detrimentally, but, gently, like a flower that slowly starts to bloom. Opening towards the ray that was all ways meant to nurture you.

Hold Fast. Allow the light to shine upon you. Allow the dark to fall beside you. And, with time, you will find:

You've Opened Up.

Meagan Ishtar