Nine and Twenty

I have a Mo.Hawk. I never thought I'd say that. Feels kinda the same as when I had dreads... Another defiance.. Nose Pierced would be in this same category. I dyed my hair red, with Kool-Aid and Red Number Forty. It stained for two days. Maybe there's a little tint left... Why do I do this? These actions that, to some, are puzzling while, to others, they give inspiration and a sense of connectedness. I don't know how to explain it. I Channel. Energy. I feel the presence of things that are intangible to most people. I am a healer. I harmonize these energies through my awareness and my action. I mourn loss and I appreciate beauty. I strive to find a balance in all things that are living. I recycle what is dead. In many practical ways I am Buddhist.

At the moment Hawai'i, the main island, is where I call Home. Although my kitties are on another continent this is Where I Grow. Life Has BeCome Instantaneous. All I Have is Here and Now. The magic exists around me as I see the world arise from my dreams. Every Thing I have aimed for is actualizing Around Me. It just takes time, and focus, and then You're There. And, Holy Shit, It's Incredible to Realize Your Power. I Swear.

There are Specifics. So Many Specifics. Facts and Details and Knowledge and Lessons. So Many Lessons That Will Keep Repeating Until You Realize Them. So, Wizen Up. Listen. Pay Attention. The Second You Choose To Be An Active Part Of Your Life Every Thing Will Change Before You. First, Your Perspective. Then, Your Relationships. Then, Your Work. Then, Your Home. Be Ready. This Is The Moment You've All Ways Waited For. You Created This. Here and Now. Own It. Cherish It. Use It.

You Have Nothing Else.



x o

I empower because I am power.

Meagan Ishtar


I am judged every where I go. With every thing that I do. I... am used to it. It's been this way my entire life. When I was a child I looked and acted too old. As an adult I am regularly ridiculed for behaving too young and condemned for appearing as so. It is painful and the reason I have retreated to this mountain that I am so thankful to currently call home.

Life was Hell. All Ways. Pure and Simple. My joy comes from the happiness of my survival. Every day I am thank full. As I open my eyes. As I take my first few conscious breaths. As I feel my body and all the aches and pains that are now the only proof of all I have experienced. No One believes Me. My Life. How.. How could a child smile after all that has happened? How? But I feel it. Every Day. In my joints and In my bones. I see it in the break down of my skin and my teeth and my eyes. Things no one could notice other wise.

And so I cry. In silence. On the mountain.


xo

October's Seventh Heart

I guess there are two ways to look at things. One is to keep Truth on the down low and the other is to spread Truth out loud. I am the later and I have struggled my whole life in an existence that is the former. Now, even to you love.

There are two ways to look at things but it's better to be the path between for we are more than just how we see things.

I think of how many people have judged Me. Almost every single one. I think how absurd life is, really, for I too judge. But at least I choose to focus on the potential and to come from a place of nurturing.

I think of how cruel is every body. So much violence. So many saying mean things. Even me. Some times. Especially when it's necessary. See : Me. Judging.

I think : what happened to humanity? Have we always been lost? For I have only seen glimpses before. A promise of a better tomorrow that never comes.

I think we're hive-minded and we simply bounce off one another. Life is instantaneous. We are presence. Trapped in the mundane we never actualize our potential. I have known this. I live outside this. I am a rebel. To Some, an outlaw. To most an out-cast who never fit normal. Friendless. Family less. Free Blessed. It's a dichotomy, balanced, at best.

Cancer, Sag and Libra. Pearl and Irish and God dess. So many labels. Daughter and Single and Female and :White. Can't forget : White. That safe Neutral that tries to never bleed. But takes, easily, from every body. Know : He is Not Me. I am :She. A different entity. Thankfully

---

xo

Marches April Nes

I think of all the steps I have taken from you, love, out of fear. How often I have been here, on the path, to : choose. You or Not You. That's all we have here.

By you I mean me, obviously. Because, My Life... it depends on me breathing, me being. There is no : other wise.

I think of all the people I've been. All the lessons I've learned. Partners. Homes. Pets. The promise of children that become a threat. Sercurity. Illusion. Delusion. I can easily say I've experienced all of it.

But not this.. A consistency that is not consistent. Bliss in the Abyss. I used to predict every thing. Scheduled. Organized. I was prepared from Monday through Sun day. I had money. I was "success full." Stable. But there were cracks in that as well.

I was always on edge. Unable to handle the little things that would inevitably happen. There was no way I could control all of it or any of it and the idea I could... that was an illusion I had to let go of or else I literally would have killed my self.

Life is Transcience. That natural flow from one to the other. We see it's movement most easily through water. We are water and these fluctuations in life, we must allow them to flow over us, one at a time. We have to find a way to remain at our center through the detriments of both heart ache and time or else we will find our selves suffocating down the line. To attach is to hold your self in one place, often, one pain... and no one deserves this.

Last night I listened to planes. Giants. In The Sky. So loud and penetrating it was hard to control my mind. That is the world today. Constant distraction. Taking you from that center of gravity that keeps you constant and focused. Unwavering. That is what you must be in the force of things that are hundreds of times greater than you. And, not force fully, not detrimentally, but, gently, like a flower that slowly starts to bloom. Opening towards the ray that was all ways meant to nurture you.

Hold Fast. Allow the light to shine upon you. Allow the dark to fall beside you. And, with time, you will find:

You've Opened Up.

Meagan Ishtar

Cancer...

13 August '12

It drives me crazy, the millions they say, going toward cancer research. A "Cure". Yeah Right. There is no cure. It changes and adapts. It's different for every person. There is no standard for health. Especially in this modern world. Nothing except good food and adequate exercise. That is All.

The rest is an ellimination process. An attempt to elliminate the many toxins you are exposed to, day in and day out, whether it's from your medication, your diet or the area you live in. Toxins are all around us. They are in the air we breathe, the water we drink, the soil we touch and depend on for every thing in this life we are living. The earth in every domesticated area is saturated with the build up of an economy that is designed to destroy it's self. Combine that with the magnitude of advertisement exposure telling us who to be and what to buy, paired with years of education in a system created to keep one from thinking & questioning... well it's no wonder the human race is festering. We are sick and cancer is our most classic example of it. Until everyone takes the responsiblity to cleanse their body, mind and spirit nothing will change in this world.

That is all.

heart

I love how people think I can't tell when they are lying. I mean.. I'm a therapist. I talk about it so infrequently that people must forget or something. But I pay attention to everything. Every little nuance that to most mean nothing but to me mean everything. The smirk as the thought of lying creeps up. The buildup of story telling. The over-dramatization. The drawing out of detail or inability to provide any. The anger and deflection that comes when I innocently and curiously point out indiscretion. The back tracking. The denial. The cover up. All of it. I'm so familiar with all of it. Like a fox who's pretended to be a sheep so long he calls his own fur wool now. It's a sad story until you change.

heart

Facts & Measures

"It's hard for me to remember all of it not because I can't recall the details but instead because I recall all of them. And slowly, as they unwind, well the telling... it takes time."

Meagan Ishtar

--

Dear Brad,

I guess first and foremost I am a story-teller which works well in this situation as there is much I need to catch you up on. I became aware of my skill with articulation when I was young ~ about twenty years ago. Writing became a passion; Poetry for it's meter and rhyme. At first I copied other styles but was developing my own within a short while. My aim was concision and I fought it tirelessly. Practicing, over and over, how to do the same thing more simply. Little did I know I was training for my Mastery of Quantum Physics, Mechanics and Theory.

Now Nothing In My Life Was Ordinary. Never Was. Never Will Be. All of my life I have struggled with the insistence of others that I Be Normal. This encouragement bothers me. I have aimed, deliberately, to be the unique representation of all that I have to offer. I have adapted a lot of skills that I did not see to exist before me. I create change wherever I go. Instantaneously. It is why I became a Life Coach. It's what I do naturally all ready.

But it wasn't Natural because I'd been studying and working towards this my whole life. It is a perfected approach and behavior. A way of thinking and a dedication to remain active. Meticulousness integrated with beauty and harmony. I love all of it.

I am a Philosopher. That is why I get along with Your Mother. Just in case you were wondering...

I came here professionally. When we met I was a travelling writer. :



August 16th
2012

xo

The Secrets To The UniVerse