sun sets

i drink wine with two older men from Iran. sitting at a small table along the street, drinking coffee, they stop me as i walk by. as happens most of the time. music blaring i never hear the words people shout at me but the eye contact, the flick of a hand, the movement of a body, that i always notice out of the corner of my eye. these two were pretty persistent so i stopped just as i passed them, turned around, took out an ear bud, and apologized for not having heard them. they were over joyed that i had chosen to pause! i could not help but laugh at their excitement. they offered for me to join them which i quickly refused. i was enjoying my walk in the sun! but, there was sun here, they argued. what did i want? coffee? ice cream? haha... how old did they think i was? water. i had been thirsty.. of course!! so, i sat down.

through dialogue i learned they thought i was between seventeen and twenty two. now that i reflect on that fact, i don't know if that should concern me or not. they were probably both in their sixties. but, it does not matter. who was i? what was i doing?! they wanted to know. i guess i must look interesting. i just laughed. a poet? a traveler? what did i know about life?! what were my beliefs in God?? who was i?! more of that laughter..

two glasses of wine and, what do i believe? i laugh. i disclose it's been a hell of a day and night. i share that i don't know what i think any more. Natural Cycles.. that's all i can come up with. a great answer, apparently. what do i plan to do with my life? where do i go next? i'm still deciding on those ones. i am so brave, and smart, apparently... i laugh again. brave, to be living like this, especially as a female. smart, to have worked to minimize my stresses and be open to the opportunities that come my way. gorgeous, for just being my self.

azul, a published author in Israel. shoja, a successful restaurant owner of 30 years, something i know to be no easy feat quite personally. they share with me that earlier that day they wandered the beach, complaining about their lonely lives, wondering why they were single and unhappy. and, now, they both share my company! such good fortune. so much they look up to me for living life as i do that they want to know my answers to their greatest questions. it puzzles me, as i share their finest choices in wine because i am from Napa and seem to know more about this as well.

who am i..?
definitely a question i'm determined to find out.