Today is the three month anniversary of my being a Nomad and leaving Sacramento .. It is also the five month anniversary of when I first left Southern California and felt the absence of my heart as I drove from there. Every step, from that moment, until now, has been to bring me back here. And, truly, I couldn't be happier about the fact that life and circumstance allowed for it to happen as quickly as it did.
Of course, the gifts of the universe often come in their abundance of disguises, and many times throughout this journey I have been challenged and questioned in all the areas that matter the most to me. I have been pushed to endure and sacrifice but, every time I succeed by not giving in to attachment and, instead, practice the expression of gratitude, the rewards are endless. I have definitely gained more than I gave.
Really though, today is the actual anniversary of when my life really began to change. This last year the true quest has been to re:connect with my center ~ the core of who Meagan Ishtar is. Last year, and the years prior, were incredibly difficult for me. Of course I learned many lessons but what I was left with was a shell of who I'd once been. All that seemed to exist was my bitterness and depression. It was hard for me to connect with any one or any thing and, most of the time, I was just angry. I cried often and searched, desperately, for something to bring me out of where I'd been.
The steps were tiny and, in truth, I never could of guessed where they'd lead me. I walked in to a new health and wellness situation I'd never before considered, I ended my long term relationship, I gave away all of my possessions, I embraced and expanded my spirituality and creativity, and I opened up to the possibility of connecting again. I have met so many incredible people along the way ~ true Soul Family, guaranteed. Every day I revel in my blessings.
These last few months I've purposefully allowed my self to wander because I needed to. I have received so much concern from so many different people that I feel honored to be cared for so much but, really, this was all intended for me. I needed to test both my self and the universe in order to move forward and, I must say... I am blown away by all that I find. We humans are quite incredible creatures, able to do most any thing we put our mind to, no exaggeration. It's amazing and, also, a very humbling thing to experience. For, once we begin to realize the power we have, in every situation, we also simultaneously begin to witness how we usurp that power by so easily giving it to others when we really shouldn't any longer.
We also begin to notice the impact and influence of all that is around us, and, depending on the magnitude of it, this knowledge can drive us a little batty. It's almost like a bird waking up and realizing it's in a cage after it just dreamed of freedom. The desperation that follows can be suffocating and, if one doesn't take the action needed to change their situations pretty immediately, the stagnation can become threatening. It's a process that most of us have experienced before but I embraced it quite literally and committed to making every change necessary to have the life, the freedom, I knew I needed.
In speaking with people all up and down this beautiful state I've noticed that many are undergoing the same transitions even though the scenery may differ slightly. Truly this year has been about self~definition. About claiming who we are and what we want and need to get by in this life time. For, it is a sentence, this living ~ and we only have now to utilize it.
So, how do I want my day to be? I ask repeatedly. Every day, every moment, I transition with the experience that is happening. I have worked and focused on becoming one hundred percent present and the knowledge and awareness that comes from this type of living is astounding. The opportunity that presents it's self is more than rewarding. There are so many possibilities! Still it astounds me.
So, what next?
I am in Southern California.
I love it here.
Truly, for five months, in my heart I have still been here.
So, I am here, and I am 'going to make it happen'
as a friend once said to me.
I am excited.
As I said : so many possibilities!
Here's to twenty twelve being all we imagine it can be.
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