so this is the new year...

the first week of the new year has passed and i finally, only now, sit down to assess it. so much happened in two thousand and eleven ... we are so different now, because of it.

you and me ... the human race , actually . life is crazy. i can not believe all i have experienced in these last four months. it was this time in september that i left sacramento.

and i have learned so much since then, truly. as i've visted with so many people that are close to me. as i've wandered alone. as i've worked on this non-profit that, the more i work on, only seems to grow bigger for me. i am aiming to change the world, truly. i look forward to sharing it when i prove it completely.

but really, through all i have experienced, all i can say is that we are fortunate to have the love that we're surrounded with daily. as i have been alone, through holidays, through coldness, i gain a deeper appreciation for the times i have been surrounded by closeness. and there were so many of them. so much love i have been given in this lifetime, which is amazing to realize. once i used to be lost in the feeling of it's absence.

and, truly, that's the biggest difference. i feel like, through the sequence of many events, our hope in humanity is building again. we're slowly remembering what it is that life's about. what it is that we truly care about. family has taken on a new meaning with almost every one i know, actually. it's beautiful to witness and i am thankful for my ability to travel ~ for it allows me to just witness more of it.



as the financial world has crumbled i watch as every one faces their inevitable fragility. there comes a time, after accomplishing, that we must fumble and experience what it is to live in our defeat. and it is this experience that is most humbling. and, for me, that was twenty eleven, really.

and now it's twenty twelve. and i know who i am. and i am grateful. it was hard to be her. i had to stand up. i had to be proud. i had to realize that i was worthy of the love i now carry for myself.

and really, that's what the new year's
been all about.

so a cheer
to each of us.

may you see your beauty as well.



meagan ishtar