limbo

I think of America and it's fore fathers. So many, our ancestors, came here specifically for the pursuit of their freedom and happiness. Penniless, with little more than hope, for most of them. Abandoning the security of family and possession, they wandered, across the expanse of that ocean.

We are here because they survived those situations that left many starving, sickly and / or under constant repression. We are here because of their courage and faith which they found a way to maintain with persistance.

It is not easy to remain strong in the face of adversity, how ever that adversity may come. It is the trial of this living that, if we hope to survive, we must find a way to over come. And that is the lesson ~ the lesson of this living I suppose.

I remain in my home state but, at the same time, I relate. I landed in Southern California on my car's last leg. It sits now, in a drive way, waiting for a possible resuscitate.

I have gone weeks with no money and have had to depend on my own resourcefulness to find a way to move forward. I have had to reach out to strangers in hope that they would have kindness in their heart and help me with simple things, like food and shelter and clothing. I have not known where I was or, really, who I was with, but I have continued to walk forward believing that I will be provided for despite the reality that exists.

I have never known faith like this. All Ways I provided for my self and, often, my partner. I have never accepted the help of a stranger ~ not ever like this. But I believe I was meant to be here ~ experiencing life like this.

It has been hard ~ especially after some specific situations. I have experienced what I would consider total and complete abandonment when I felt the most vulnerable and sick. I have been alone, lost in the abyss of the desert of man's existence. Scared. Weak. Full of doubt and endless question.

So many nights I have cried in the darkness. Detached from humanity as I froze in my car. For a nation that once welcomed the survivor I can not help but wonder when and how we became so mis guided.

There are systems in place but they are corrupted. The genuiness of humanity has some how become covered. I struggle with this. Every day I struggle with this as I have all ways felt it was my purpose in life to change this.

I needed to see it ~ the reality as it truly was. For, in truth, without that vision I could never move forward. It has been hard to witness, first hand, the dismay of deterioration of this once great nation.

Through the struggle, through the progression past fear and the most hurt ful of betrayals, I found a way. A way to : Here. Here being faith; Faith that, no matter what, there is a way and I will find it.

Life is the slow unfolding of our purpose which, at times, may be cloudy and unfocused. But that's Okay. No one all ways knows the way. We learn most through the times we are lost and we grow most through the exchange we have when we must depend on another. Without other people we would have and be nothing.

It's easy to think differently in this culture that now pushes and promotes independence and individuality. But, without the love that exists when we help one another, we would amount to nothing. Who would be here if they were never helped by somebody? No body. No body.

So, I give; So, I accept. It is a blessing to be a part of this continual exchange that promotes health and progress. If no one cared, if no one dared, all of us, at one point or another, would be lost some where.



Thank You to All who have been There,

Meagan Ishtar