I guess there are two ways to look at things. One is to keep Truth on the down low and the other is to spread Truth out loud. I am the later and I have struggled my whole life in an existence that is the former. Now, even to you love.
There are two ways to look at things but it's better to be the path between for we are more than just how we see things.
I think of how many people have judged Me. Almost every single one. I think how absurd life is, really, for I too judge. But at least I choose to focus on the potential and to come from a place of nurturing.
I think of how cruel is every body. So much violence. So many saying mean things. Even me. Some times. Especially when it's necessary. See : Me. Judging.
I think : what happened to humanity? Have we always been lost? For I have only seen glimpses before. A promise of a better tomorrow that never comes.
I think we're hive-minded and we simply bounce off one another. Life is instantaneous. We are presence. Trapped in the mundane we never actualize our potential. I have known this. I live outside this. I am a rebel. To Some, an outlaw. To most an out-cast who never fit normal. Friendless. Family less. Free Blessed. It's a dichotomy, balanced, at best.
Cancer, Sag and Libra. Pearl and Irish and God dess. So many labels. Daughter and Single and Female and :White. Can't forget : White. That safe Neutral that tries to never bleed. But takes, easily, from every body. Know : He is Not Me. I am :She. A different entity.
Thankfully
---
xo
Monday, October 29, 2012
Friday, September 14, 2012
Marches April Nes
I think of all the steps I have taken from you, love, out of fear. How often I have been here, on the path, to : choose. You or Not You. That's all we have here.
By you I mean me, obviously. Because, My Life... it depends on me breathing, me being. There is no : other wise.
I think of all the people I've been. All the lessons I've learned. Partners. Homes. Pets. The promise of children that become a threat. Sercurity. Illusion. Delusion. I can easily say I've experienced all of it.
But not this.. A consistency that is not consistent. Bliss in the Abyss. I used to predict every thing. Scheduled. Organized. I was prepared from Monday through Sun day. I had money. I was "success full." Stable. But there were cracks in that as well.
I was always on edge. Unable to handle the little things that would inevitably happen. There was no way I could control all of it or any of it and the idea I could... that was an illusion I had to let go of or else I literally would have killed my self.
Life is Transcience. That natural flow from one to the other. We see it's movement most easily through water. We are water and these fluctuations in life, we must allow them to flow over us, one at a time. We have to find a way to remain at our center through the detriments of both heart ache and time or else we will find our selves suffocating down the line. To attach is to hold your self in one place, often, one pain... and no one deserves this.
Last night I listened to planes. Giants. In The Sky. So loud and penetrating it was hard to control my mind. That is the world today. Constant distraction. Taking you from that center of gravity that keeps you constant and focused. Unwavering. That is what you must be in the force of things that are hundreds of times greater than you. And, not force fully, not detrimentally, but, gently, like a flower that slowly starts to bloom. Opening towards the ray that was all ways meant to nurture you.
Hold Fast. Allow the light to shine upon you. Allow the dark to fall beside you. And, with time, you will find:
You've Opened Up.
Meagan Ishtar
By you I mean me, obviously. Because, My Life... it depends on me breathing, me being. There is no : other wise.
I think of all the people I've been. All the lessons I've learned. Partners. Homes. Pets. The promise of children that become a threat. Sercurity. Illusion. Delusion. I can easily say I've experienced all of it.
But not this.. A consistency that is not consistent. Bliss in the Abyss. I used to predict every thing. Scheduled. Organized. I was prepared from Monday through Sun day. I had money. I was "success full." Stable. But there were cracks in that as well.
I was always on edge. Unable to handle the little things that would inevitably happen. There was no way I could control all of it or any of it and the idea I could... that was an illusion I had to let go of or else I literally would have killed my self.
Life is Transcience. That natural flow from one to the other. We see it's movement most easily through water. We are water and these fluctuations in life, we must allow them to flow over us, one at a time. We have to find a way to remain at our center through the detriments of both heart ache and time or else we will find our selves suffocating down the line. To attach is to hold your self in one place, often, one pain... and no one deserves this.
Last night I listened to planes. Giants. In The Sky. So loud and penetrating it was hard to control my mind. That is the world today. Constant distraction. Taking you from that center of gravity that keeps you constant and focused. Unwavering. That is what you must be in the force of things that are hundreds of times greater than you. And, not force fully, not detrimentally, but, gently, like a flower that slowly starts to bloom. Opening towards the ray that was all ways meant to nurture you.
Hold Fast. Allow the light to shine upon you. Allow the dark to fall beside you. And, with time, you will find:
You've Opened Up.
Meagan Ishtar
Friday, September 7, 2012
Cancer...
13 August '12
It drives me crazy, the millions they say, going toward cancer research. A "Cure". Yeah Right. There is no cure. It changes and adapts. It's different for every person. There is no standard for health. Especially in this modern world. Nothing except good food and adequate exercise. That is All.
The rest is an ellimination process. An attempt to elliminate the many toxins you are exposed to, day in and day out, whether it's from your medication, your diet or the area you live in. Toxins are all around us. They are in the air we breathe, the water we drink, the soil we touch and depend on for every thing in this life we are living. The earth in every domesticated area is saturated with the build up of an economy that is designed to destroy it's self. Combine that with the magnitude of advertisement exposure telling us who to be and what to buy, paired with years of education in a system created to keep one from thinking & questioning... well it's no wonder the human race is festering. We are sick and cancer is our most classic example of it. Until everyone takes the responsiblity to cleanse their body, mind and spirit nothing will change in this world.
That is all.
heart
I love how people think I can't tell when they are lying. I mean.. I'm a therapist. I talk about it so infrequently that people must forget or something. But I pay attention to everything. Every little nuance that to most mean nothing but to me mean everything. The smirk as the thought of lying creeps up. The buildup of story telling. The over-dramatization. The drawing out of detail or inability to provide any. The anger and deflection that comes when I innocently and curiously point out indiscretion. The back tracking. The denial. The cover up. All of it. I'm so familiar with all of it. Like a fox who's pretended to be a sheep so long he calls his own fur wool now. It's a sad story until you change.
heart
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Facts & Measures
"It's hard for me to remember all of it not because I can't recall the details but instead because I recall all of them. And slowly, as they unwind, well the telling... it takes time."
Meagan Ishtar
--
Dear Brad,
I guess first and foremost I am a story-teller which works well in this situation as there is much I need to catch you up on. I became aware of my skill with articulation when I was young ~ about twenty years ago. Writing became a passion; Poetry for it's meter and rhyme. At first I copied other styles but was developing my own within a short while. My aim was concision and I fought it tirelessly. Practicing, over and over, how to do the same thing more simply. Little did I know I was training for my Mastery of Quantum Physics, Mechanics and Theory.
Now Nothing In My Life Was Ordinary. Never Was. Never Will Be. All of my life I have struggled with the insistence of others that I Be Normal. This encouragement bothers me. I have aimed, deliberately, to be the unique representation of all that I have to offer. I have adapted a lot of skills that I did not see to exist before me. I create change wherever I go. Instantaneously. It is why I became a Life Coach. It's what I do naturally all ready.
But it wasn't Natural because I'd been studying and working towards this my whole life. It is a perfected approach and behavior. A way of thinking and a dedication to remain active. Meticulousness integrated with beauty and harmony. I love all of it.
I am a Philosopher. That is why I get along with Your Mother. Just in case you were wondering...
I came here professionally. When we met I was a travelling writer. :
August 16th
2012
xo
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Einstein.
My car sits outside this house that could be a Mansion. Walls. Gates. A Rose Garden. When inside, unless you're looking from a high west facing window, you wouldn't be able to see out side.
'Write your own story,' in pink, faded red paint, on my car in the drive way.
'Who knows who lives here?' they must say.
I have become a neighborhood favorite among these old ladies. Where did I come from? Who is my mother? They all say. "Me!" "Me." I hear when they play. It's nice to know so many people love me these days.
I left Sacramento thinking the opposite actually. Ironic, really. When I think of the direction my life has now it is humbling. I am so happy I am beside my self.
I never realized how capable we are and this is pretty funny coming from me and who I are.
You have no idea how much I smile now. It's pretty much constant now. Even in the face of chaos. Especially in the face of chaos. Because I know : We caused it.
Our reality is the direct representation of our thoughts. Quite, literally. Physically. All of it. The theory of relativity : the interdependence of matter, time and space. (Your best friend should be your dictionary) It all makes sense. Think of your health; your best gauge in this existence. What is its state? How high and low does your energy fluctuate? What is at stake? Mortality. Finality. You had better learn to control before it's too late.
Metaphysics? Just an extension. An Interpretation. Modern Relativity for Reality, if you'll have it.
What about Jesus, the 'Son of God?' Good Question. Aren't all of us? Suns and Daughters. Yes, Yes that is : Us.
God Is Us. You. Me. Energy, really. All of it. I created the cosmos. I could see the stars, small pin pricks of light in the night or I could lose my self and see : Nothing. Emptiness. Chaos. Abyss.
Or, peace. Here. On, Earth. In : Me. Total, Health. Total, Actuality. I Am : Me. God, really. The power is in All of Us. You. Me.
Blasphemy! You point at Me. Did you study the bible?! Yes. Twenty years ago. With a Pure Mind and an Innocent Heart is Where Those Words First Took Part. Where Were You? When Are You? Now. Now? Let's : Talk.
I smile because I relate to None Of You. At Nine that was Where I Was. Where Were You? Stuck. Stuck in these patterns of abuse that at a young age you had no awareness of. You were just a child. Innocent. Happy. Mindless.
I was : An Adult. I would have to tell you my whole story for you to Know and in time I will.. that's a promise. But, Here, Now, just know that I was alone. Scared. Confused. Dependent on my need for : love. And, I turned, I turned to the Bible, the Word of God, to understand my self. And : I sought Church, Prayer, Baptism so I could redeem my self. For, I knew I was : lost.
I found I was Not. The more I learned, the more I aligned my self with "God," the more I saw how many were false prophets. How so few were actually a representation of who they really are. Lies. Deceit. Hypocrisy. I saw all of it and it tore me up. I dis associated. I redeemed.. My Self. And, I understood... God had nothing to do with all of it.
Life. Seconds. Humans. Infants. This is just an experience, an opportunity, to gain a wider vision. One that can only be granted with : consciousness. What is the aim of this existence? What is the purpose behind this experience? WE are only a part, a mere fraction of : A Whole. What, Whole? It is not of consciousness. Humans are Conscious. That is : Our Part. To Harness : Consciousness.
Relativity. The InterDependence of Matter, Time and Space. You can only understand this in a conscious state. And, when you do, you can maximize this : Truth. The power is there, controlling you, whether you harness it or not. Not harnessing it will destroy you. And that my friends... That is when Your Life is : Up.
heart.,
Meagan Ishtar
'Write your own story,' in pink, faded red paint, on my car in the drive way.
'Who knows who lives here?' they must say.
I have become a neighborhood favorite among these old ladies. Where did I come from? Who is my mother? They all say. "Me!" "Me." I hear when they play. It's nice to know so many people love me these days.
I left Sacramento thinking the opposite actually. Ironic, really. When I think of the direction my life has now it is humbling. I am so happy I am beside my self.
I never realized how capable we are and this is pretty funny coming from me and who I are.
You have no idea how much I smile now. It's pretty much constant now. Even in the face of chaos. Especially in the face of chaos. Because I know : We caused it.
Our reality is the direct representation of our thoughts. Quite, literally. Physically. All of it. The theory of relativity : the interdependence of matter, time and space. (Your best friend should be your dictionary) It all makes sense. Think of your health; your best gauge in this existence. What is its state? How high and low does your energy fluctuate? What is at stake? Mortality. Finality. You had better learn to control before it's too late.
Metaphysics? Just an extension. An Interpretation. Modern Relativity for Reality, if you'll have it.
What about Jesus, the 'Son of God?' Good Question. Aren't all of us? Suns and Daughters. Yes, Yes that is : Us.
God Is Us. You. Me. Energy, really. All of it. I created the cosmos. I could see the stars, small pin pricks of light in the night or I could lose my self and see : Nothing. Emptiness. Chaos. Abyss.
Or, peace. Here. On, Earth. In : Me. Total, Health. Total, Actuality. I Am : Me. God, really. The power is in All of Us. You. Me.
Blasphemy! You point at Me. Did you study the bible?! Yes. Twenty years ago. With a Pure Mind and an Innocent Heart is Where Those Words First Took Part. Where Were You? When Are You? Now. Now? Let's : Talk.
I smile because I relate to None Of You. At Nine that was Where I Was. Where Were You? Stuck. Stuck in these patterns of abuse that at a young age you had no awareness of. You were just a child. Innocent. Happy. Mindless.
I was : An Adult. I would have to tell you my whole story for you to Know and in time I will.. that's a promise. But, Here, Now, just know that I was alone. Scared. Confused. Dependent on my need for : love. And, I turned, I turned to the Bible, the Word of God, to understand my self. And : I sought Church, Prayer, Baptism so I could redeem my self. For, I knew I was : lost.
I found I was Not. The more I learned, the more I aligned my self with "God," the more I saw how many were false prophets. How so few were actually a representation of who they really are. Lies. Deceit. Hypocrisy. I saw all of it and it tore me up. I dis associated. I redeemed.. My Self. And, I understood... God had nothing to do with all of it.
Life. Seconds. Humans. Infants. This is just an experience, an opportunity, to gain a wider vision. One that can only be granted with : consciousness. What is the aim of this existence? What is the purpose behind this experience? WE are only a part, a mere fraction of : A Whole. What, Whole? It is not of consciousness. Humans are Conscious. That is : Our Part. To Harness : Consciousness.
Relativity. The InterDependence of Matter, Time and Space. You can only understand this in a conscious state. And, when you do, you can maximize this : Truth. The power is there, controlling you, whether you harness it or not. Not harnessing it will destroy you. And that my friends... That is when Your Life is : Up.
heart.,
Meagan Ishtar
Monday, March 12, 2012
The Story We'Ve All Been Waiting For.
Finally, a chance to sit down and write. ::sigh:: My, oh, my,.. What an interesting beginning to : A Year.
How did I get Here? You all have asked. And, depending on when we approached this question, my answer will be one that offers some variance. For, I am Here, On : Purpose. A very purposed purpose that I hold quite dear.
I am Here because I Chose To Be Here, and, I suppose that is true for all of us. We are the product of our exhaustions. Think a minute on that one.. . What we receive will be equal in proportion to what we exert ~ 'we get what we give' is what most of you have heard. It's a Law of Physics. Simple Inertia. An Extension, I Know, but we're intelligent creatures, fo sho.
I decided to test the universe. That's right ya'll. "There's a book somewhere in there.." Ha Ha, yeah, I Know!
I wanted to see what would happen if I put my self totally out there with nothing more than my own ability to manifest greatness. At many points I had no money. My car, which is miraculously still with me and working, (unregistered and uninsured tho..) allowed me shelter but there were many times I left it unlocked with the keys in the ignition (in Oakland, too, yo!), to test and see if it would still be there. And, you know what? It Was.
I have gone in to cities where I knew no one and was welcomed in to many homes. Many of which refer to me now as :daughter. And now, where I live, it is a beautiful home with an elderly woman that I care for as much as my own Mother.
It's a beautiful world out : There.
We Give what We Get. Absolutely. It works both ways, for sure. And that's why it's of utmost importance to change your life, totally and completely, if you are not receiving what you need in order to give what you need. Do you get me? You are directly ingesting what others exhaust upon your existence. There's another version of it. Full Circle. Full Circle. Full Circle, you know?
We need to change the world. I am not saying that lightly. We need to change our selves. Killing our own brothers? Who the fuck cares if it's for oil. Stop using oil. It's that fucking simple. What's our problem, yo's?
No body knows. No body knows the full circle of our inevitableness. We think it all stops. We think it all stops with : Me. I'm safe. I'm fed. I'm happy and fat and well-read. I : Know. I Am Fine. I have what I need. A house, a car, a job, a family. You are Not It. You are just a blip, a small second in the universe that consumes for the sake of consumption. That's It. When, oh When, did we become such idiots.
World War Two. Yeah, that's It. Fucking Idiots. All Of Us. Hitler and Japs and Feminism and Hypocrites. It makes me fucking sick. Sick. Yeah, You! That's :It.
What have you done to change? Did you stop creating trash? Do you now accept every human you encounter as your dearest and closest friend? Have you abandoned ideals and labels and intolerance? Have you let go of brands and burned the money that lays in your pocket? Do you wake up with Peace? Do you have a job that isn't a job because you love it complete? Do you embrace your flaws and commit to being your self despite the negativity?
I didn't think. That is the problem. We are shut off through all the systems our beloved government decided to start after that World War Two I was talking about. We are machines. Put In. Receipt. Cha Change! Get a fucking clue. We are dis eased.
Challenge your self. Challenge your beliefs. If you want it, burn it. If you need it, leave it. If you fear it, embrace it. If you know it, lose it.
That's the only way you can know your self.
Meagan Ishtar
How did I get Here? You all have asked. And, depending on when we approached this question, my answer will be one that offers some variance. For, I am Here, On : Purpose. A very purposed purpose that I hold quite dear.
I am Here because I Chose To Be Here, and, I suppose that is true for all of us. We are the product of our exhaustions. Think a minute on that one.. . What we receive will be equal in proportion to what we exert ~ 'we get what we give' is what most of you have heard. It's a Law of Physics. Simple Inertia. An Extension, I Know, but we're intelligent creatures, fo sho.
I decided to test the universe. That's right ya'll. "There's a book somewhere in there.." Ha Ha, yeah, I Know!
I wanted to see what would happen if I put my self totally out there with nothing more than my own ability to manifest greatness. At many points I had no money. My car, which is miraculously still with me and working, (unregistered and uninsured tho..) allowed me shelter but there were many times I left it unlocked with the keys in the ignition (in Oakland, too, yo!), to test and see if it would still be there. And, you know what? It Was.
I have gone in to cities where I knew no one and was welcomed in to many homes. Many of which refer to me now as :daughter. And now, where I live, it is a beautiful home with an elderly woman that I care for as much as my own Mother.
It's a beautiful world out : There.
We Give what We Get. Absolutely. It works both ways, for sure. And that's why it's of utmost importance to change your life, totally and completely, if you are not receiving what you need in order to give what you need. Do you get me? You are directly ingesting what others exhaust upon your existence. There's another version of it. Full Circle. Full Circle. Full Circle, you know?
We need to change the world. I am not saying that lightly. We need to change our selves. Killing our own brothers? Who the fuck cares if it's for oil. Stop using oil. It's that fucking simple. What's our problem, yo's?
No body knows. No body knows the full circle of our inevitableness. We think it all stops. We think it all stops with : Me. I'm safe. I'm fed. I'm happy and fat and well-read. I : Know. I Am Fine. I have what I need. A house, a car, a job, a family. You are Not It. You are just a blip, a small second in the universe that consumes for the sake of consumption. That's It. When, oh When, did we become such idiots.
World War Two. Yeah, that's It. Fucking Idiots. All Of Us. Hitler and Japs and Feminism and Hypocrites. It makes me fucking sick. Sick. Yeah, You! That's :It.
What have you done to change? Did you stop creating trash? Do you now accept every human you encounter as your dearest and closest friend? Have you abandoned ideals and labels and intolerance? Have you let go of brands and burned the money that lays in your pocket? Do you wake up with Peace? Do you have a job that isn't a job because you love it complete? Do you embrace your flaws and commit to being your self despite the negativity?
I didn't think. That is the problem. We are shut off through all the systems our beloved government decided to start after that World War Two I was talking about. We are machines. Put In. Receipt. Cha Change! Get a fucking clue. We are dis eased.
Challenge your self. Challenge your beliefs. If you want it, burn it. If you need it, leave it. If you fear it, embrace it. If you know it, lose it.
That's the only way you can know your self.
Meagan Ishtar
Monday, February 20, 2012
Me.
I think about the few, the small hand ful of people that actually know Me, and I am thank ful. Life is such a quick progression, truly, it passes with the swiftest momentum, that, in truth, it would be impossible to know all the details even if I tried to give them.
Also, in truth, so much happens every day that I could never tell you all the details, all the decisions, all the facts that are representative of all that I Am. Only time, the slow movement of the hour hand, could show you Who I Am if we Spent Them : together.
It is this way for every one every where and, as we grow older, it makes sense that isolation and depression begin to build those stairs. Those stairs we stare at when we're too exhausted to go anywhere. Those stairs that mark our journey as one of individuality and independence, everywhere. It can be exhausting, especially if we have not been equipped with an abundance of love and kindness in our Younger Years. These things, they are our sustenance in our older years as we wander a lone, realizing our purpose and finding a way to execute the course that encourages our progression. It is a lonely and trying existence as we ask these questions and seek these answers. But, we all go through it. It is the human experience. So, in our aloneness, we are The Same.
Due to circumstance, I began this journey long before any of my peers. I date and hang out with people that precede me by twenty years. For all of my youth I could not relate to those who were defined by the same age as I. So, I spoke, on the page, and silence rang in most ears. The perfect Confidante, I Listened, and People Loved It. For, I had already been there, for so many years.., I now understood all of it.
Through reflection and education I gained the knowledge that has encouraged my progression to : Here. A place where I aim to be nothing but love and acceptance ~ to every one every where. For, just as you can not know all I have been through, all I have experienced, I too can not know you and all that makes and takes and keeps you through these years. I can aim to and I will in every chance I am granted but, between them, I will aim to only give you Love and Acceptance. For, if I knew every detail, I would understand your decisions. If I knew all your story, I would comprehend all your actions. Just as you would me with that same information.
And, in truth, that is why I share what I do, publicly, with friends. My aim is to remind you of the emotion and complexion that defines human expansion.
There is more than meets the eye in every situation, as is true with Who and How I Am.
Each of us is a story that waits and yearns to be read. For, only through the sharing of our individual struggle, can we grow and understand that Love is the Objective.
Love is the Objective through All of It.
Meagan
Also, in truth, so much happens every day that I could never tell you all the details, all the decisions, all the facts that are representative of all that I Am. Only time, the slow movement of the hour hand, could show you Who I Am if we Spent Them : together.
It is this way for every one every where and, as we grow older, it makes sense that isolation and depression begin to build those stairs. Those stairs we stare at when we're too exhausted to go anywhere. Those stairs that mark our journey as one of individuality and independence, everywhere. It can be exhausting, especially if we have not been equipped with an abundance of love and kindness in our Younger Years. These things, they are our sustenance in our older years as we wander a lone, realizing our purpose and finding a way to execute the course that encourages our progression. It is a lonely and trying existence as we ask these questions and seek these answers. But, we all go through it. It is the human experience. So, in our aloneness, we are The Same.
Due to circumstance, I began this journey long before any of my peers. I date and hang out with people that precede me by twenty years. For all of my youth I could not relate to those who were defined by the same age as I. So, I spoke, on the page, and silence rang in most ears. The perfect Confidante, I Listened, and People Loved It. For, I had already been there, for so many years.., I now understood all of it.
Through reflection and education I gained the knowledge that has encouraged my progression to : Here. A place where I aim to be nothing but love and acceptance ~ to every one every where. For, just as you can not know all I have been through, all I have experienced, I too can not know you and all that makes and takes and keeps you through these years. I can aim to and I will in every chance I am granted but, between them, I will aim to only give you Love and Acceptance. For, if I knew every detail, I would understand your decisions. If I knew all your story, I would comprehend all your actions. Just as you would me with that same information.
And, in truth, that is why I share what I do, publicly, with friends. My aim is to remind you of the emotion and complexion that defines human expansion.
There is more than meets the eye in every situation, as is true with Who and How I Am.
Each of us is a story that waits and yearns to be read. For, only through the sharing of our individual struggle, can we grow and understand that Love is the Objective.
Love is the Objective through All of It.
Meagan
Monday, February 13, 2012
limbo
I think of America and it's fore fathers. So many, our ancestors, came here specifically for the pursuit of their freedom and happiness. Penniless, with little more than hope, for most of them. Abandoning the security of family and possession, they wandered, across the expanse of that ocean.
We are here because they survived those situations that left many starving, sickly and / or under constant repression. We are here because of their courage and faith which they found a way to maintain with persistance.
It is not easy to remain strong in the face of adversity, how ever that adversity may come. It is the trial of this living that, if we hope to survive, we must find a way to over come. And that is the lesson ~ the lesson of this living I suppose.
I remain in my home state but, at the same time, I relate. I landed in Southern California on my car's last leg. It sits now, in a drive way, waiting for a possible resuscitate.
I have gone weeks with no money and have had to depend on my own resourcefulness to find a way to move forward. I have had to reach out to strangers in hope that they would have kindness in their heart and help me with simple things, like food and shelter and clothing. I have not known where I was or, really, who I was with, but I have continued to walk forward believing that I will be provided for despite the reality that exists.
I have never known faith like this. All Ways I provided for my self and, often, my partner. I have never accepted the help of a stranger ~ not ever like this. But I believe I was meant to be here ~ experiencing life like this.
It has been hard ~ especially after some specific situations. I have experienced what I would consider total and complete abandonment when I felt the most vulnerable and sick. I have been alone, lost in the abyss of the desert of man's existence. Scared. Weak. Full of doubt and endless question.
So many nights I have cried in the darkness. Detached from humanity as I froze in my car. For a nation that once welcomed the survivor I can not help but wonder when and how we became so mis guided.
There are systems in place but they are corrupted. The genuiness of humanity has some how become covered. I struggle with this. Every day I struggle with this as I have all ways felt it was my purpose in life to change this.
I needed to see it ~ the reality as it truly was. For, in truth, without that vision I could never move forward. It has been hard to witness, first hand, the dismay of deterioration of this once great nation.
Through the struggle, through the progression past fear and the most hurt ful of betrayals, I found a way. A way to : Here. Here being faith; Faith that, no matter what, there is a way and I will find it.
Life is the slow unfolding of our purpose which, at times, may be cloudy and unfocused. But that's Okay. No one all ways knows the way. We learn most through the times we are lost and we grow most through the exchange we have when we must depend on another. Without other people we would have and be nothing.
It's easy to think differently in this culture that now pushes and promotes independence and individuality. But, without the love that exists when we help one another, we would amount to nothing. Who would be here if they were never helped by somebody? No body. No body.
So, I give; So, I accept. It is a blessing to be a part of this continual exchange that promotes health and progress. If no one cared, if no one dared, all of us, at one point or another, would be lost some where.
Thank You to All who have been There,
Meagan Ishtar
We are here because they survived those situations that left many starving, sickly and / or under constant repression. We are here because of their courage and faith which they found a way to maintain with persistance.
It is not easy to remain strong in the face of adversity, how ever that adversity may come. It is the trial of this living that, if we hope to survive, we must find a way to over come. And that is the lesson ~ the lesson of this living I suppose.
I remain in my home state but, at the same time, I relate. I landed in Southern California on my car's last leg. It sits now, in a drive way, waiting for a possible resuscitate.
I have gone weeks with no money and have had to depend on my own resourcefulness to find a way to move forward. I have had to reach out to strangers in hope that they would have kindness in their heart and help me with simple things, like food and shelter and clothing. I have not known where I was or, really, who I was with, but I have continued to walk forward believing that I will be provided for despite the reality that exists.
I have never known faith like this. All Ways I provided for my self and, often, my partner. I have never accepted the help of a stranger ~ not ever like this. But I believe I was meant to be here ~ experiencing life like this.
It has been hard ~ especially after some specific situations. I have experienced what I would consider total and complete abandonment when I felt the most vulnerable and sick. I have been alone, lost in the abyss of the desert of man's existence. Scared. Weak. Full of doubt and endless question.
So many nights I have cried in the darkness. Detached from humanity as I froze in my car. For a nation that once welcomed the survivor I can not help but wonder when and how we became so mis guided.
There are systems in place but they are corrupted. The genuiness of humanity has some how become covered. I struggle with this. Every day I struggle with this as I have all ways felt it was my purpose in life to change this.
I needed to see it ~ the reality as it truly was. For, in truth, without that vision I could never move forward. It has been hard to witness, first hand, the dismay of deterioration of this once great nation.
Through the struggle, through the progression past fear and the most hurt ful of betrayals, I found a way. A way to : Here. Here being faith; Faith that, no matter what, there is a way and I will find it.
Life is the slow unfolding of our purpose which, at times, may be cloudy and unfocused. But that's Okay. No one all ways knows the way. We learn most through the times we are lost and we grow most through the exchange we have when we must depend on another. Without other people we would have and be nothing.
It's easy to think differently in this culture that now pushes and promotes independence and individuality. But, without the love that exists when we help one another, we would amount to nothing. Who would be here if they were never helped by somebody? No body. No body.
So, I give; So, I accept. It is a blessing to be a part of this continual exchange that promotes health and progress. If no one cared, if no one dared, all of us, at one point or another, would be lost some where.
Thank You to All who have been There,
Meagan Ishtar
Friday, February 10, 2012
ser.mons
I think of this language I speak and I do not know how to define it, really. It is one I have spent my whole life mastering so it can, and will, accurately reflect the essence of me.
I think of all the things I have experienced. The life times that have passed, year after year, as I've abandoned security in pursuit of greater things. New Cities. New Surroundings. New Friends. New Family. The humdrum of a mundane experience is still unknown to me for I have never known stability.
For me, the pilar is Love. In every interaction. In every setting. It is my one and only consistency as it now is the only place I can operate from. Some call it God and explain it as the blessing of his holy spirit and, for a time, I agree that I believed that to be so. But now my vision extends far greater than that prose. Instead I see how I am God in every moment as I choose to walk in love. For if I chose instead to walk in hate I would be Satan. And, sadly, we already have too many of those.
I have no blame for that is just another extension of hate. Instead I deliberately choose my aim. What are my intentions? How will I behave? For, these things, they are the only things I have any control over. Every thing else is a reaction to something, as will be me, if I'm not consciously choosing. So, peacefully, I sit here or stand here, observing everything. Placement. Behavior. The presence of my self in comparison to the presence of other. I seek acceptance. I find understanding. And, above all, I exhibit compassion.
When I share this philosophy I am immediately warned about how this approach makes me vulnerable. But, I have travelled all over. I have slept in my car. I have had no money. And, I've also been where you are. I have experienced so many things and witnessed much more and never, never, have I had to run for a door. I have never been threatened seriously to a point where I know I was in trouble. Sure, there have been moments where I began to wonder.. but, honestly, those moments where the ones were I was needed the most.
It is a challenge to act with love in the face of hate and discrimination and the total lack and absence of love. So many nights I have laid crying as I could barely stand the build up caused from others being so short-sighted. There is more than just this moment. There has been all that has happened before and there will be all that is yet to come. This moment is actually very boring and unimportant when compared to all of those. But, this moment, it is every thing when you see it as the chance to practice your divinity. For, then, you will always grow.
Or, wither, depending on how your choice goes. For, if you are reactive, and allow hate and bitterness and anger to come forth, you are choosing to be Satan, and you will lose your self in that one. For, those cycles, they only perpetuate negativeness - this we all know. We have all done it. We have all been there. It is the only way any of us could ever know.
Which is why and how I have chosen to be different. Patience is my aim as I let the slow unfolding of each day delicately take place. Yes, I set intentions as I have my greater goals but now I focus more on being present so my life will smoothly flow. For it is when we are not present, when we are not consciously aware of both our thoughts and our actions, that we begin to lose the connection that makes this life worth living again.
Instead, we become disconnected from the truth that we are all brothers and sisters here to learn through our differences. I can only see my self through the interaction we share. I can only love my self if I allow my self to dare. Dare to love you for you are not me. In fact, you could be the opposite really. And the challenge is there. To love your brother that is not your brother. There is no challenge that will ever be greater. Only God can exist in a love that exists there.
And so I dare.
And so I dare.
Meagan Ishtar
I think of all the things I have experienced. The life times that have passed, year after year, as I've abandoned security in pursuit of greater things. New Cities. New Surroundings. New Friends. New Family. The humdrum of a mundane experience is still unknown to me for I have never known stability.
For me, the pilar is Love. In every interaction. In every setting. It is my one and only consistency as it now is the only place I can operate from. Some call it God and explain it as the blessing of his holy spirit and, for a time, I agree that I believed that to be so. But now my vision extends far greater than that prose. Instead I see how I am God in every moment as I choose to walk in love. For if I chose instead to walk in hate I would be Satan. And, sadly, we already have too many of those.
I have no blame for that is just another extension of hate. Instead I deliberately choose my aim. What are my intentions? How will I behave? For, these things, they are the only things I have any control over. Every thing else is a reaction to something, as will be me, if I'm not consciously choosing. So, peacefully, I sit here or stand here, observing everything. Placement. Behavior. The presence of my self in comparison to the presence of other. I seek acceptance. I find understanding. And, above all, I exhibit compassion.
When I share this philosophy I am immediately warned about how this approach makes me vulnerable. But, I have travelled all over. I have slept in my car. I have had no money. And, I've also been where you are. I have experienced so many things and witnessed much more and never, never, have I had to run for a door. I have never been threatened seriously to a point where I know I was in trouble. Sure, there have been moments where I began to wonder.. but, honestly, those moments where the ones were I was needed the most.
It is a challenge to act with love in the face of hate and discrimination and the total lack and absence of love. So many nights I have laid crying as I could barely stand the build up caused from others being so short-sighted. There is more than just this moment. There has been all that has happened before and there will be all that is yet to come. This moment is actually very boring and unimportant when compared to all of those. But, this moment, it is every thing when you see it as the chance to practice your divinity. For, then, you will always grow.
Or, wither, depending on how your choice goes. For, if you are reactive, and allow hate and bitterness and anger to come forth, you are choosing to be Satan, and you will lose your self in that one. For, those cycles, they only perpetuate negativeness - this we all know. We have all done it. We have all been there. It is the only way any of us could ever know.
Which is why and how I have chosen to be different. Patience is my aim as I let the slow unfolding of each day delicately take place. Yes, I set intentions as I have my greater goals but now I focus more on being present so my life will smoothly flow. For it is when we are not present, when we are not consciously aware of both our thoughts and our actions, that we begin to lose the connection that makes this life worth living again.
Instead, we become disconnected from the truth that we are all brothers and sisters here to learn through our differences. I can only see my self through the interaction we share. I can only love my self if I allow my self to dare. Dare to love you for you are not me. In fact, you could be the opposite really. And the challenge is there. To love your brother that is not your brother. There is no challenge that will ever be greater. Only God can exist in a love that exists there.
And so I dare.
And so I dare.
Meagan Ishtar
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Public Service Announcement
Twelve months have passed with the focus being one hundred percent on my own personal objectives. And, the spaces this journey has kept... well, I never could've guessed it. I have been so many places. I have met so many people. I have experienced so many things. It is amazing. I can not help but be endlessly happy.
Thank you to everyone who has travelled with me. Some of you I have been fortunate enough to see. Others, we have corresponded randomly. All of you I think of periodically. Not a day passes without the thought of most of you. Usually it is short and sweet as, in a day, I do so many things. But I love all of you and thank you for being here with me.
Few of you know what I am actually doing. How I wonder what the rest of you think! Haha, it matters not. Really. But it's fun to ponder these things.
In truth, my relationship ended last January because I made a fundamental change in my beliefs. I decided that I wanted to do and give.. every thing. I was so happy working with the public, improving their health, motivating and befriending them easily. In reality, it was my dream, and I gave up everything to pursue it. Literally. And, I fell flat on my face. A total disgrace. Repeatedly. It's been a humbling process as I learn these lessons of patience, indeed.
So I am here, still, working. Far from where I started with absolutely nothing. I sit now in a well-furnished and pleasant room. Full of pinks and frills. The little girl's room I never had, I suppose. In the closet, hung up, my one bag of clothes. My blanket on the bed. Full of beauty and prose. So simple, this life I now lead. I have everything because I need nothing.
I am here for you. I am here because, a year ago, I decided to live my life as a public servant. I let go of my concept of partner, and family, and looked to a greater embrace : the world. And, that is my vision, to this very moment. It is a grand one, but, my loves.. It Flows.
It started as the vision of a non-profit that is still in the throws. But, it will start out slow and will include a lot more. Like a series of books, the first of which is almost done. The Story of Self, they will be called, and it's a three parter. Each one split into two sections, the first of which is an AutoBiographical Lesson. Followed by poetry that support the lessons learned.. It's come along nice. I plan to publish and market my self. Already know how. But, it's a long and costly process, so I'll be taking donations. ;) If you're interested in reading send me an email!
But, that's down the road... In the mean time I'm in Southern California, Encinitas, living with and caring for an Artist (painter) who is experiencing the onset of Alzheimer's. It's an interesting life that I manifested long ago. It's a 'disease' I've been meaning to observe and diagnose. After travelling as a Wellness Life Coach it's giving me an interesting perspective that I love. It will be an intriguing next few months.
I am aiming to change the world one person at a time. Restructure business and the local economy. My ultimate aim is to enter a city with a well organized and large team and do a complete overhaul, leaving it 100% sustainable with absolutely no waste. So many factors have to synchronize for this to take place!
But, I'm on it. I believe that the only way to harness true freedom is to live as ourselves. Totally and truly. And, to do this, we must be able to support ourselves. How many factors in our own lives do we control? Not many, if any, at all. Health being the first and fore most. So many of us lie victim to the toxins that are used in our food. That's plain and simple. Whether it pesticides or preservatives, it's killing us from the inside out. And, when you take fruits and vegetables in to account.. the items that should be the staple of every healthy diet... well, there would be shame, no doubt. And we suffer from it on every level whether we buy it or leave it on the shelf. From our hair to our skin, from our cough to our grins, every thing is affected from the food we put in our mouths. It is the fuel that sustains us, No Doubt. So, this is my center. I am working to create a business called "Edible Landscapes" and it will create just that. Both residentially and commercially with the aim to recreate the concept of the Garden of Eden - so we can finally, properly, feed ourselves. And, with this accessibility, as well as the use / implementation of all other agriculture necessities, things will really start changing quite quickly. Like my other business, where I plan to help those facing forclosure by converting their home into a sustainable hostel. And then, the nonprofit, which will back and push forward all those. There's a lot going on behind these closed doors... don't be surprised, yo.
I'm also planning on getting my Real Estate license, to fund it all. As these projects will take some lump sums of money. And, the beauty of it is, I've managed to find ways to support my self without having to make money. So I can turn around and invest it all. Truly, I chose to give everything up so I could, in return, give my all. It is a blessing to be a part of All.
Once all systems are in place I plan to market the books and the poetry. A core part of this whole concept is Artisanry. Of all types. Craftsmanship is the only way in a true local economy. Which is the direction we need to turn if we hope to change anything.
Every election I say the same thing. These candidates, they are puppets, really. To represent our ideals and play in a race. It's honorable but, to our hopes and our dreams, a disgrace. For only we can make them real. The purpose of government is to preserve our freedom as an individual, and that is all. They can not give us health. They can not determine our economy. They can not provide the wealth. That is up for us to find and define as we live as our selves. And, until we do that, the failure is Our Selves. "The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in our stars..."
So, I've changed that by commiting to a life of servitude. The generosity I receive and the deep relationships I experience as they are based in true love are beyond what I ever could have hoped for. I am blessed in every moment and am all ways grateful. I encourage you to try a life lived this way. It is beyond event full.
May you enjoy this leap year. In Druidic custom leap day, February 29th, was celebrated extravagently. They called it, "the day outside of time," and every member of society would live that day exhibiting a part of themselves that had never before been realized. A part that ran deep to their core but through life and circumstance had never had the chance to come out and be nurtured. It was a day of festivity, celebration and acceptance as each person experimented with who they could be in a different world.
This month I challenge you to consider who you might be if you were your self. And, on the 29th, who knows..
May be this next election we'll each elect our self.
Meagan Ishtar
Thank you to everyone who has travelled with me. Some of you I have been fortunate enough to see. Others, we have corresponded randomly. All of you I think of periodically. Not a day passes without the thought of most of you. Usually it is short and sweet as, in a day, I do so many things. But I love all of you and thank you for being here with me.
Few of you know what I am actually doing. How I wonder what the rest of you think! Haha, it matters not. Really. But it's fun to ponder these things.
In truth, my relationship ended last January because I made a fundamental change in my beliefs. I decided that I wanted to do and give.. every thing. I was so happy working with the public, improving their health, motivating and befriending them easily. In reality, it was my dream, and I gave up everything to pursue it. Literally. And, I fell flat on my face. A total disgrace. Repeatedly. It's been a humbling process as I learn these lessons of patience, indeed.
So I am here, still, working. Far from where I started with absolutely nothing. I sit now in a well-furnished and pleasant room. Full of pinks and frills. The little girl's room I never had, I suppose. In the closet, hung up, my one bag of clothes. My blanket on the bed. Full of beauty and prose. So simple, this life I now lead. I have everything because I need nothing.
I am here for you. I am here because, a year ago, I decided to live my life as a public servant. I let go of my concept of partner, and family, and looked to a greater embrace : the world. And, that is my vision, to this very moment. It is a grand one, but, my loves.. It Flows.
It started as the vision of a non-profit that is still in the throws. But, it will start out slow and will include a lot more. Like a series of books, the first of which is almost done. The Story of Self, they will be called, and it's a three parter. Each one split into two sections, the first of which is an AutoBiographical Lesson. Followed by poetry that support the lessons learned.. It's come along nice. I plan to publish and market my self. Already know how. But, it's a long and costly process, so I'll be taking donations. ;) If you're interested in reading send me an email!
But, that's down the road... In the mean time I'm in Southern California, Encinitas, living with and caring for an Artist (painter) who is experiencing the onset of Alzheimer's. It's an interesting life that I manifested long ago. It's a 'disease' I've been meaning to observe and diagnose. After travelling as a Wellness Life Coach it's giving me an interesting perspective that I love. It will be an intriguing next few months.
I am aiming to change the world one person at a time. Restructure business and the local economy. My ultimate aim is to enter a city with a well organized and large team and do a complete overhaul, leaving it 100% sustainable with absolutely no waste. So many factors have to synchronize for this to take place!
But, I'm on it. I believe that the only way to harness true freedom is to live as ourselves. Totally and truly. And, to do this, we must be able to support ourselves. How many factors in our own lives do we control? Not many, if any, at all. Health being the first and fore most. So many of us lie victim to the toxins that are used in our food. That's plain and simple. Whether it pesticides or preservatives, it's killing us from the inside out. And, when you take fruits and vegetables in to account.. the items that should be the staple of every healthy diet... well, there would be shame, no doubt. And we suffer from it on every level whether we buy it or leave it on the shelf. From our hair to our skin, from our cough to our grins, every thing is affected from the food we put in our mouths. It is the fuel that sustains us, No Doubt. So, this is my center. I am working to create a business called "Edible Landscapes" and it will create just that. Both residentially and commercially with the aim to recreate the concept of the Garden of Eden - so we can finally, properly, feed ourselves. And, with this accessibility, as well as the use / implementation of all other agriculture necessities, things will really start changing quite quickly. Like my other business, where I plan to help those facing forclosure by converting their home into a sustainable hostel. And then, the nonprofit, which will back and push forward all those. There's a lot going on behind these closed doors... don't be surprised, yo.
I'm also planning on getting my Real Estate license, to fund it all. As these projects will take some lump sums of money. And, the beauty of it is, I've managed to find ways to support my self without having to make money. So I can turn around and invest it all. Truly, I chose to give everything up so I could, in return, give my all. It is a blessing to be a part of All.
Once all systems are in place I plan to market the books and the poetry. A core part of this whole concept is Artisanry. Of all types. Craftsmanship is the only way in a true local economy. Which is the direction we need to turn if we hope to change anything.
Every election I say the same thing. These candidates, they are puppets, really. To represent our ideals and play in a race. It's honorable but, to our hopes and our dreams, a disgrace. For only we can make them real. The purpose of government is to preserve our freedom as an individual, and that is all. They can not give us health. They can not determine our economy. They can not provide the wealth. That is up for us to find and define as we live as our selves. And, until we do that, the failure is Our Selves. "The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in our stars..."
So, I've changed that by commiting to a life of servitude. The generosity I receive and the deep relationships I experience as they are based in true love are beyond what I ever could have hoped for. I am blessed in every moment and am all ways grateful. I encourage you to try a life lived this way. It is beyond event full.
May you enjoy this leap year. In Druidic custom leap day, February 29th, was celebrated extravagently. They called it, "the day outside of time," and every member of society would live that day exhibiting a part of themselves that had never before been realized. A part that ran deep to their core but through life and circumstance had never had the chance to come out and be nurtured. It was a day of festivity, celebration and acceptance as each person experimented with who they could be in a different world.
This month I challenge you to consider who you might be if you were your self. And, on the 29th, who knows..
May be this next election we'll each elect our self.
Meagan Ishtar
Saturday, January 21, 2012
bubbles
This world is a strange place, that's all I can say at this rate...
Two Thousand and Eleven was an intense year for all of us. I know, at least in my own life, I experienced more than probably the ten years prior. Especially in my emotional space. A lot of things, like habits, cycles and patterns, finally became clear to me and it was overwhelming to realize how much of the pain and confusion in my life was caused by my self. To realize such a thing takes a lot of responsibility to own up to but, if you ignore it, it stares you straight in the face. It's one of those do-or-die moments and it's an intense thing to experience, I'll say.
So here we are, humanity, cleaning up. I've noticed this shift on a wide scale over a significant age range. It's intense for all of us as we try to pick up the pieces of our material/external lives that got shattered through the process. It was just too much to hold it all together. It was no fault on any of us.
The question then is : who do we want to be in twenty thirteen? Because, truly, this is the time to prepare for that place, certainly. We forget in this day-to-day struggle that we need to be looking forward constantly. Sure, we can ask questions and do research and hypothesize scenarios and prepare endlessly BUT it's all too easy to get stuck in this phases of repetivity and you lose the momentum that continues you forward.
There comes a point where you just have to trust yourself. You have to commit to taking that step that will put you in a different direction. Because, honestly, anything is better than this. Because this IS, this HAPPENED, and to do it again is just saying you're okay with wasting your life. And, really, who's okay with doing that? No Body. And it's why we drink and we smoke and we pop pills and distract ourselves. No one's happy doing the same damn thing day after day after day. Not, at least, in any big way.
We are conscious beings and, with consciousness, comes creativity. By being able to witness simulataneous realities, and experience them, we are able to make connections that no one else would ever see. And, this connection comes simply through communicating. All of us are more intelligent than we've ever thought of or realized. If you took every thing you have learned from every moment of your life you couldn't help but be categorized as a genius in something. In fact in a lot of things. Trust Me.
And that's really why I'm out here doing this. I wanted to see what I could do if the only thing I had to rely on was me. Totally and truly. At first it was just a leap of faith in me and my ability but, surprisingly, it also became a proof of faith in humanity. The love and kindness and support I receive from others all ways astounds me. People are generous when they are in a place of peace and calm ~ when they are relaxed and being them selves. So, that's my aim, to create a reality that reflects a society that can claim that aspect of them selves.
So, twenty thirteen... I encourage creativity. I think everyone needs it a lot more than they ever thought to give it. Find some way, any way, to express your self. Get him and her out because, in truth, there is duality in all of us. The more we see that as we find other mediums to reflect our selves the more we will understand acceptance and compassion as we are challenged to understand our selves. Because that's what creativity really is. It's a language, a dialogue, between who you are and who you have been. And then, to view it, in the future, when you're someone else ... that gives you yet another perspective. And that's how it works with everything if you challenge yourself. The human mind is an incredible tool, truly the most incredible thing. Aim never to waste it and you can, quite literally, know everything.
At least that's my aim for twenty thirteen...
We shall see.
Meagan
Two Thousand and Eleven was an intense year for all of us. I know, at least in my own life, I experienced more than probably the ten years prior. Especially in my emotional space. A lot of things, like habits, cycles and patterns, finally became clear to me and it was overwhelming to realize how much of the pain and confusion in my life was caused by my self. To realize such a thing takes a lot of responsibility to own up to but, if you ignore it, it stares you straight in the face. It's one of those do-or-die moments and it's an intense thing to experience, I'll say.
So here we are, humanity, cleaning up. I've noticed this shift on a wide scale over a significant age range. It's intense for all of us as we try to pick up the pieces of our material/external lives that got shattered through the process. It was just too much to hold it all together. It was no fault on any of us.
The question then is : who do we want to be in twenty thirteen? Because, truly, this is the time to prepare for that place, certainly. We forget in this day-to-day struggle that we need to be looking forward constantly. Sure, we can ask questions and do research and hypothesize scenarios and prepare endlessly BUT it's all too easy to get stuck in this phases of repetivity and you lose the momentum that continues you forward.
There comes a point where you just have to trust yourself. You have to commit to taking that step that will put you in a different direction. Because, honestly, anything is better than this. Because this IS, this HAPPENED, and to do it again is just saying you're okay with wasting your life. And, really, who's okay with doing that? No Body. And it's why we drink and we smoke and we pop pills and distract ourselves. No one's happy doing the same damn thing day after day after day. Not, at least, in any big way.
We are conscious beings and, with consciousness, comes creativity. By being able to witness simulataneous realities, and experience them, we are able to make connections that no one else would ever see. And, this connection comes simply through communicating. All of us are more intelligent than we've ever thought of or realized. If you took every thing you have learned from every moment of your life you couldn't help but be categorized as a genius in something. In fact in a lot of things. Trust Me.
And that's really why I'm out here doing this. I wanted to see what I could do if the only thing I had to rely on was me. Totally and truly. At first it was just a leap of faith in me and my ability but, surprisingly, it also became a proof of faith in humanity. The love and kindness and support I receive from others all ways astounds me. People are generous when they are in a place of peace and calm ~ when they are relaxed and being them selves. So, that's my aim, to create a reality that reflects a society that can claim that aspect of them selves.
So, twenty thirteen... I encourage creativity. I think everyone needs it a lot more than they ever thought to give it. Find some way, any way, to express your self. Get him and her out because, in truth, there is duality in all of us. The more we see that as we find other mediums to reflect our selves the more we will understand acceptance and compassion as we are challenged to understand our selves. Because that's what creativity really is. It's a language, a dialogue, between who you are and who you have been. And then, to view it, in the future, when you're someone else ... that gives you yet another perspective. And that's how it works with everything if you challenge yourself. The human mind is an incredible tool, truly the most incredible thing. Aim never to waste it and you can, quite literally, know everything.
At least that's my aim for twenty thirteen...
We shall see.
Meagan
Friday, January 13, 2012
envelopes
Politely I am told, by this officer, that I am not allowed to sleep in my car while parked
in a public setting.
And, really, I can't believe the absurdity
in that non-letting.
How many cars are parked on these streets,
taking up space,
not doing
anything?
I create no noise.
I leave no trash.
And, barely driving, I am not even polluting
The Planet
.
But, sleep...
with blankets and pillows
that no one would would know
unless they walked up to my window
and flashed down a light upon me
well, apparently, that is
il legal
and,
i need to leave
now
and
this is what America has come to...
as I violate humanity by utilizing this metal cage
that takes up no more space than a five by ten
shape.
But,
if I paid electricity,
if I paid water,
if I paid garbage and property tax and, really, for all that luggage...
I could skate by
unharassed
at four in the fucking morning.
And this,
this my friends..
This is Why I do This
Meagan Ishtar
4:20am
Friday
the 13th
of January
2012
in a public setting.
And, really, I can't believe the absurdity
in that non-letting.
How many cars are parked on these streets,
taking up space,
not doing
anything?
I create no noise.
I leave no trash.
And, barely driving, I am not even polluting
The Planet
.
But, sleep...
with blankets and pillows
that no one would would know
unless they walked up to my window
and flashed down a light upon me
well, apparently, that is
il legal
and,
i need to leave
now
and
this is what America has come to...
as I violate humanity by utilizing this metal cage
that takes up no more space than a five by ten
shape.
But,
if I paid electricity,
if I paid water,
if I paid garbage and property tax and, really, for all that luggage...
I could skate by
unharassed
at four in the fucking morning.
And this,
this my friends..
This is Why I do This
Meagan Ishtar
4:20am
Friday
the 13th
of January
2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
...reflecting...
in just a couple of days it will have been four months since i left sacramento and, my oh my, i have changed so much as a person since then.
yes and no. it's funny ... people think i'm on this journey for me but, really, i'm out here subjecting myself to the insanity that is life to help humanity, actually. i knew there was a bigger picture i needed to see and i have travelled, up and down this great state, to make these connections and establish this footing. and, i have.. i have, definitely.
if anything, what i have witnessed is how much each of us is struggling. as we struggle to find ourselves. as we struggle to accept ourselves. as we struggle to accept the other that is our self. so much is related, all of it is related, and to change from that perspective of Me to that perspective of All Of Us is to change completely. and, this is the change I have been going through, for humanity.
because it's the change that needed to happen, really. and every day, every day i interact with people and remind them of these facts, simply. all of us are struggling. superfically and personally. in order to survive, in this present day and age, we need a lot of money. and we have sacrificed as we've strove to achieve these things materialistically. sacrificed our love. sacrificed our families.
who would we be if we woke up each morning without a schedule, without a place to go, without a person to be? what if, instead, you lived each moment completely. total presence. no deadline. no schedule. no pressure. it's a way that most of us have had a glimmer of that we now remember fondly. remember that vacation? remember those travels? remember that youth? i hear the stories as i move and i see the longing in the faces of those i meet to experience more of these things. but, work... but, family... but, responsibility... there is no time for it, not anymore, any way.
so, i am that reminder, that reminder of what matters the most really. having no possession, the grandness of a home stands out in my presence. having no family, the value of connection stands out in my independence. having nothing but me, right here, right now, reminds people that they are alive and they want to be happy.
and, it's hard, to live this simply. it's challenged me to be stronger than i knew i was, really. there is so much i don't know. there are so many chances i take, repeatedly. there is so much faith that i walk in that i have never known and i struggle to trust in. but i do it with the intention of loving and helping those around me even when they don't know how to handle me.
and i'm told i'm finding myself and maybe i am. but, also, i am finding you and we both thrive in this connection. and maybe i am crazy... i don't know. i have to trust myself when no one else does. i have to believe that i know what i'm doing even when it looks like i don't anymore. but, then, the universe, it unfolds... and i am given love and acceptance and safety when before there was none. so i have learned, through this reinforcement, that i am on the right path. and i continue forward.
so, truly, maybe i have made this commitment to restore faith in the craziness that is all of us. in this day and age of prescription pills and media manipulation, maybe i'm the reminder that, when we trust our self we can actually get some where. because, who we are, as we are, is beautiful. we know what we need. we know how we want to be. we just have to trust and commit to that being. and, when we do, magic happens, really. we find happiness. we find stability. maybe no superfically for these things can not be marked physically. instead we learn to stand in the midst of our emotion. we learn to embrace the chaos of our experiences. and, suddenly, we find a way to categorize it. to see a context that before made no sense to us. and, almost in an unforseeable moment, we are calm and collected and in the control we have always strove for.
at least, this is what i find, each day that i let go and trust my self. and, to do this, truly, i must also trust in the other. i must trust that you, over there, will see me correctly and accept me completely. so, fear fully i live, fear less ly, as me. and, in this exchange, in this commitment, i find you are just as scared as me. but, through my commitment, you trust me and live the same actually. and, suddenly, both of us are being. both of us are loving and accepting, effortlessly.
it's not easy. each moment i learn something. a weakness, a struggle, a fear i have to look past. but, each moment, it also becomes more and more effortless. it's the law of inertia and, baby, i be rolling!
so ~ thank you for all the friendship. and, apologies, if i push those buttons. but, i am steady, even when it doesn't look like it. especially when it doesn't look like it. and if we have fear, if we have worry, that's the time we have to look at our selves and wonder where it is we're heading. at least that's what i'm learning as i realize that you and i are but reflections of one another. truly, that is the blessing of humanity. we are conscious because we see each other. in our difference i see your similarity and the challenge to accept this is what helps me grow as a person. and, this is the struggle, with all of us. as we aim and as we strive and as we dive.
so, today, i bless all of us in this struggle that is life. i know we're winning because we're still alive. so, trust your self. go out there and do what it is you want to be doing. be open and forgiving and compassionate. towards others but, most importantly, toward yourself. for, everything you experience, it's a reflection of the other that is your self. remember that... remember that and you will know the world.
best to all of us as we realize our potential.
meagan ishtar
yes and no. it's funny ... people think i'm on this journey for me but, really, i'm out here subjecting myself to the insanity that is life to help humanity, actually. i knew there was a bigger picture i needed to see and i have travelled, up and down this great state, to make these connections and establish this footing. and, i have.. i have, definitely.
if anything, what i have witnessed is how much each of us is struggling. as we struggle to find ourselves. as we struggle to accept ourselves. as we struggle to accept the other that is our self. so much is related, all of it is related, and to change from that perspective of Me to that perspective of All Of Us is to change completely. and, this is the change I have been going through, for humanity.
because it's the change that needed to happen, really. and every day, every day i interact with people and remind them of these facts, simply. all of us are struggling. superfically and personally. in order to survive, in this present day and age, we need a lot of money. and we have sacrificed as we've strove to achieve these things materialistically. sacrificed our love. sacrificed our families.
who would we be if we woke up each morning without a schedule, without a place to go, without a person to be? what if, instead, you lived each moment completely. total presence. no deadline. no schedule. no pressure. it's a way that most of us have had a glimmer of that we now remember fondly. remember that vacation? remember those travels? remember that youth? i hear the stories as i move and i see the longing in the faces of those i meet to experience more of these things. but, work... but, family... but, responsibility... there is no time for it, not anymore, any way.
so, i am that reminder, that reminder of what matters the most really. having no possession, the grandness of a home stands out in my presence. having no family, the value of connection stands out in my independence. having nothing but me, right here, right now, reminds people that they are alive and they want to be happy.
and, it's hard, to live this simply. it's challenged me to be stronger than i knew i was, really. there is so much i don't know. there are so many chances i take, repeatedly. there is so much faith that i walk in that i have never known and i struggle to trust in. but i do it with the intention of loving and helping those around me even when they don't know how to handle me.
and i'm told i'm finding myself and maybe i am. but, also, i am finding you and we both thrive in this connection. and maybe i am crazy... i don't know. i have to trust myself when no one else does. i have to believe that i know what i'm doing even when it looks like i don't anymore. but, then, the universe, it unfolds... and i am given love and acceptance and safety when before there was none. so i have learned, through this reinforcement, that i am on the right path. and i continue forward.
so, truly, maybe i have made this commitment to restore faith in the craziness that is all of us. in this day and age of prescription pills and media manipulation, maybe i'm the reminder that, when we trust our self we can actually get some where. because, who we are, as we are, is beautiful. we know what we need. we know how we want to be. we just have to trust and commit to that being. and, when we do, magic happens, really. we find happiness. we find stability. maybe no superfically for these things can not be marked physically. instead we learn to stand in the midst of our emotion. we learn to embrace the chaos of our experiences. and, suddenly, we find a way to categorize it. to see a context that before made no sense to us. and, almost in an unforseeable moment, we are calm and collected and in the control we have always strove for.
at least, this is what i find, each day that i let go and trust my self. and, to do this, truly, i must also trust in the other. i must trust that you, over there, will see me correctly and accept me completely. so, fear fully i live, fear less ly, as me. and, in this exchange, in this commitment, i find you are just as scared as me. but, through my commitment, you trust me and live the same actually. and, suddenly, both of us are being. both of us are loving and accepting, effortlessly.
it's not easy. each moment i learn something. a weakness, a struggle, a fear i have to look past. but, each moment, it also becomes more and more effortless. it's the law of inertia and, baby, i be rolling!
so ~ thank you for all the friendship. and, apologies, if i push those buttons. but, i am steady, even when it doesn't look like it. especially when it doesn't look like it. and if we have fear, if we have worry, that's the time we have to look at our selves and wonder where it is we're heading. at least that's what i'm learning as i realize that you and i are but reflections of one another. truly, that is the blessing of humanity. we are conscious because we see each other. in our difference i see your similarity and the challenge to accept this is what helps me grow as a person. and, this is the struggle, with all of us. as we aim and as we strive and as we dive.
so, today, i bless all of us in this struggle that is life. i know we're winning because we're still alive. so, trust your self. go out there and do what it is you want to be doing. be open and forgiving and compassionate. towards others but, most importantly, toward yourself. for, everything you experience, it's a reflection of the other that is your self. remember that... remember that and you will know the world.
best to all of us as we realize our potential.
meagan ishtar
Sunday, January 8, 2012
so this is the new year...
the first week of the new year has passed and i finally, only now, sit down to assess it. so much happened in two thousand and eleven ... we are so different now, because of it.
you and me ... the human race , actually . life is crazy. i can not believe all i have experienced in these last four months. it was this time in september that i left sacramento.
and i have learned so much since then, truly. as i've visted with so many people that are close to me. as i've wandered alone. as i've worked on this non-profit that, the more i work on, only seems to grow bigger for me. i am aiming to change the world, truly. i look forward to sharing it when i prove it completely.
but really, through all i have experienced, all i can say is that we are fortunate to have the love that we're surrounded with daily. as i have been alone, through holidays, through coldness, i gain a deeper appreciation for the times i have been surrounded by closeness. and there were so many of them. so much love i have been given in this lifetime, which is amazing to realize. once i used to be lost in the feeling of it's absence.
and, truly, that's the biggest difference. i feel like, through the sequence of many events, our hope in humanity is building again. we're slowly remembering what it is that life's about. what it is that we truly care about. family has taken on a new meaning with almost every one i know, actually. it's beautiful to witness and i am thankful for my ability to travel ~ for it allows me to just witness more of it.
as the financial world has crumbled i watch as every one faces their inevitable fragility. there comes a time, after accomplishing, that we must fumble and experience what it is to live in our defeat. and it is this experience that is most humbling. and, for me, that was twenty eleven, really.
and now it's twenty twelve. and i know who i am. and i am grateful. it was hard to be her. i had to stand up. i had to be proud. i had to realize that i was worthy of the love i now carry for myself.
and really, that's what the new year's
been all about.
so a cheer
to each of us.
may you see your beauty as well.
meagan ishtar
you and me ... the human race , actually . life is crazy. i can not believe all i have experienced in these last four months. it was this time in september that i left sacramento.
and i have learned so much since then, truly. as i've visted with so many people that are close to me. as i've wandered alone. as i've worked on this non-profit that, the more i work on, only seems to grow bigger for me. i am aiming to change the world, truly. i look forward to sharing it when i prove it completely.
but really, through all i have experienced, all i can say is that we are fortunate to have the love that we're surrounded with daily. as i have been alone, through holidays, through coldness, i gain a deeper appreciation for the times i have been surrounded by closeness. and there were so many of them. so much love i have been given in this lifetime, which is amazing to realize. once i used to be lost in the feeling of it's absence.
and, truly, that's the biggest difference. i feel like, through the sequence of many events, our hope in humanity is building again. we're slowly remembering what it is that life's about. what it is that we truly care about. family has taken on a new meaning with almost every one i know, actually. it's beautiful to witness and i am thankful for my ability to travel ~ for it allows me to just witness more of it.
as the financial world has crumbled i watch as every one faces their inevitable fragility. there comes a time, after accomplishing, that we must fumble and experience what it is to live in our defeat. and it is this experience that is most humbling. and, for me, that was twenty eleven, really.
and now it's twenty twelve. and i know who i am. and i am grateful. it was hard to be her. i had to stand up. i had to be proud. i had to realize that i was worthy of the love i now carry for myself.
and really, that's what the new year's
been all about.
so a cheer
to each of us.
may you see your beauty as well.
meagan ishtar
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