Einstein.

My car sits outside this house that could be a Mansion. Walls. Gates. A Rose Garden. When inside, unless you're looking from a high west facing window, you wouldn't be able to see out side.

'Write your own story,' in pink, faded red paint, on my car in the drive way.

'Who knows who lives here?' they must say.

I have become a neighborhood favorite among these old ladies. Where did I come from? Who is my mother? They all say. "Me!" "Me." I hear when they play. It's nice to know so many people love me these days.

I left Sacramento thinking the opposite actually. Ironic, really. When I think of the direction my life has now it is humbling. I am so happy I am beside my self.

I never realized how capable we are and this is pretty funny coming from me and who I are.

You have no idea how much I smile now. It's pretty much constant now. Even in the face of chaos. Especially in the face of chaos. Because I know : We caused it.

Our reality is the direct representation of our thoughts. Quite, literally. Physically. All of it. The theory of relativity : the interdependence of matter, time and space. (Your best friend should be your dictionary) It all makes sense. Think of your health; your best gauge in this existence. What is its state? How high and low does your energy fluctuate? What is at stake? Mortality. Finality. You had better learn to control before it's too late.

Metaphysics? Just an extension. An Interpretation. Modern Relativity for Reality, if you'll have it.

What about Jesus, the 'Son of God?' Good Question. Aren't all of us? Suns and Daughters. Yes, Yes that is : Us.

God Is Us. You. Me. Energy, really. All of it. I created the cosmos. I could see the stars, small pin pricks of light in the night or I could lose my self and see : Nothing. Emptiness. Chaos. Abyss.

Or, peace. Here. On, Earth. In : Me. Total, Health. Total, Actuality. I Am : Me. God, really. The power is in All of Us. You. Me.

Blasphemy! You point at Me. Did you study the bible?! Yes. Twenty years ago. With a Pure Mind and an Innocent Heart is Where Those Words First Took Part. Where Were You? When Are You? Now. Now? Let's : Talk.

I smile because I relate to None Of You. At Nine that was Where I Was. Where Were You? Stuck. Stuck in these patterns of abuse that at a young age you had no awareness of. You were just a child. Innocent. Happy. Mindless.

I was : An Adult. I would have to tell you my whole story for you to Know and in time I will.. that's a promise. But, Here, Now, just know that I was alone. Scared. Confused. Dependent on my need for : love. And, I turned, I turned to the Bible, the Word of God, to understand my self. And : I sought Church, Prayer, Baptism so I could redeem my self. For, I knew I was : lost.

I found I was Not. The more I learned, the more I aligned my self with "God," the more I saw how many were false prophets. How so few were actually a representation of who they really are. Lies. Deceit. Hypocrisy. I saw all of it and it tore me up. I dis associated. I redeemed.. My Self. And, I understood... God had nothing to do with all of it.

Life. Seconds. Humans. Infants. This is just an experience, an opportunity, to gain a wider vision. One that can only be granted with : consciousness. What is the aim of this existence? What is the purpose behind this experience? WE are only a part, a mere fraction of : A Whole. What, Whole? It is not of consciousness. Humans are Conscious. That is : Our Part. To Harness : Consciousness.

Relativity. The InterDependence of Matter, Time and Space. You can only understand this in a conscious state. And, when you do, you can maximize this : Truth. The power is there, controlling you, whether you harness it or not. Not harnessing it will destroy you. And that my friends... That is when Your Life is : Up.



heart.,
Meagan Ishtar

The Story We'Ve All Been Waiting For.

Finally, a chance to sit down and write. ::sigh:: My, oh, my,.. What an interesting beginning to : A Year.

How did I get Here? You all have asked. And, depending on when we approached this question, my answer will be one that offers some variance. For, I am Here, On : Purpose. A very purposed purpose that I hold quite dear.

I am Here because I Chose To Be Here, and, I suppose that is true for all of us. We are the product of our exhaustions. Think a minute on that one.. . What we receive will be equal in proportion to what we exert ~ 'we get what we give' is what most of you have heard. It's a Law of Physics. Simple Inertia. An Extension, I Know, but we're intelligent creatures, fo sho.

I decided to test the universe. That's right ya'll. "There's a book somewhere in there.." Ha Ha, yeah, I Know!

I wanted to see what would happen if I put my self totally out there with nothing more than my own ability to manifest greatness. At many points I had no money. My car, which is miraculously still with me and working, (unregistered and uninsured tho..) allowed me shelter but there were many times I left it unlocked with the keys in the ignition (in Oakland, too, yo!), to test and see if it would still be there. And, you know what? It Was.

I have gone in to cities where I knew no one and was welcomed in to many homes. Many of which refer to me now as :daughter. And now, where I live, it is a beautiful home with an elderly woman that I care for as much as my own Mother.
It's a beautiful world out : There.

We Give what We Get. Absolutely. It works both ways, for sure. And that's why it's of utmost importance to change your life, totally and completely, if you are not receiving what you need in order to give what you need. Do you get me? You are directly ingesting what others exhaust upon your existence. There's another version of it. Full Circle. Full Circle. Full Circle, you know?

We need to change the world. I am not saying that lightly. We need to change our selves. Killing our own brothers? Who the fuck cares if it's for oil. Stop using oil. It's that fucking simple. What's our problem, yo's?

No body knows. No body knows the full circle of our inevitableness. We think it all stops. We think it all stops with : Me. I'm safe. I'm fed. I'm happy and fat and well-read. I : Know. I Am Fine. I have what I need. A house, a car, a job, a family. You are Not It. You are just a blip, a small second in the universe that consumes for the sake of consumption. That's It. When, oh When, did we become such idiots.

World War Two. Yeah, that's It. Fucking Idiots. All Of Us. Hitler and Japs and Feminism and Hypocrites. It makes me fucking sick. Sick. Yeah, You! That's :It.

What have you done to change? Did you stop creating trash? Do you now accept every human you encounter as your dearest and closest friend? Have you abandoned ideals and labels and intolerance? Have you let go of brands and burned the money that lays in your pocket? Do you wake up with Peace? Do you have a job that isn't a job because you love it complete? Do you embrace your flaws and commit to being your self despite the negativity?

I didn't think. That is the problem. We are shut off through all the systems our beloved government decided to start after that World War Two I was talking about. We are machines. Put In. Receipt. Cha Change! Get a fucking clue. We are dis eased.

Challenge your self. Challenge your beliefs. If you want it, burn it. If you need it, leave it. If you fear it, embrace it. If you know it, lose it.

That's the only way you can know your self.
Meagan Ishtar