Guinness.

I drive along this island that seems to be the edge of the world and realize the sun hasn't even crested the mountain.top .There is so much expansiveness right along my side; the whole world it seems like.

How many times have I been here? Freedom in :My Face. It seems anything is possible; almost to the point where I've become paranoid. I think it and it is so. I say it and it happens, ten fold. Just last night I was talking about how I wanted to stay here and this morning I get that message asking me to; the message sent when I was talking about it, too.

I think of the people in my life that I never got to connect with the way I wanted to. How often I've held my self back out of respect and, it seems, the only result is a life that leaves me lonely and contemplative. But I think of all the things I've avoided. The lack of violence and betrayal because I was kind and loyal. I suppose it all works out in the end; I forget the game isn't over yet.

I think of how many people talk down to me. My entire life. Still. Like I don't know. Like I haven't a clue. Like I'm just floating, carelessly, like so many of you.

The repercussions of our actions fall on the few who take the time to dwell on them. Few Do. Dwell. And, Well... Maybe That's Good.

The source of beauty is a painful process. It takes digging and digging below the surface. It takes fearlessness as we dance along the edge's that so few experience. This depth; This expansiveness; This light that hasn't even appeared Yet. So few even notice it.

And I guess That's :My Poet.


xo

Bailey's & Guinness

I think of all the way I distract my self from the loneliness that lies in my chest. Thirty Years. Soon it will be thirty years of feeling, mainly, a disconnect. I think how, growing up, I never related to my peers and the complications that came from spending time with people that preceded me by so many years. I think of every person I have connected with and how almost every single one is gone now. I think, I write, because this was the only way to get what I actually felt out.

How often no one has listened.
How often no one has been there even when I am.

I think, "it's so easy to be distracted,"
but I'm tired of living life like this.


I'm like a pristine beach that everyone trashes.


Thankfully, the tide rises.
again and again and again

Fry Days

It's actually Tuesday. A month ago yesterday I found my self landing in Hawai'i. After Maui. For some reason I was sure I wasn't gonna make that flight. I've been walking around, this last year, with death ever present. It hasn't been me. Thankfully. I'm in no way ready to go yet.

The new moon was yesterday/last night. This is how I live my life. By the Lunar Cycle. I am A Gardener. I aim to be one with Soil. I give thanks as I eat what these plants that I love provide. Full Moon is Harvest. A time for the celebration of the fruit of your labor. The New Moon is for planting. A time of work and preparedness. I like to ride the momentum of these natural cycles that influence us on every level. That's just the tip of the iceberg that is massive underneath this surface...

About three weeks ago I gave myself a Mohawk. A very short one. It was the second cutting of hair that I loved. Before that I had dreadlocks. Before the first cutting that is. I loved them but their momentum was more than I was equipped to deal with. Perhaps on the second round tho... And this is how life goes. We learn from each experience that will repeat it's self and we can either grow, with each cycle, or give up. Life will play it's self out whether we choose to be involved. But, if we're engaged, the result will be worthwhile.

It's hard to remain engaged in this day and age. Truthfully, everything about our modern life and economy is meant to keep us distracted. We are powerful beings full of wisdom and light. If we accept this, if we express this, we can not be manipulated. And that's what our society is built on. Manipulation. How hard can I work you before you pass out? How much can I charge you before you will go somewhere else? How long can I subject you to the same information before you know nothing else? This is the process. Of our Work. Of our 'Education'. And people wonder why they come home with headaches feeling exhausted and worthless...

Every human is an enterprise. Each and every one of us has the skill set necessary for success. We are tricked when we focus deliberately on survival (altho, trust me, those instincts have definitely saved my ass also). But, as adults, as intelligent thinking adults, we can do anything we want and, most of the time, we'd be successful.

We are encouraged to be a product, not an individual. We are a number and a tax bracket and a mouth that is addicted to McDonald's. And that's all... unless you choose to omit your self from that system. You have to step, consciously, over that line that is drawn to divide us. On the other side is Free Enterprise. You either have it or You Don't.

so, which is it?


xo