Marches April Nes

I think of all the steps I have taken from you, love, out of fear. How often I have been here, on the path, to : choose. You or Not You. That's all we have here.

By you I mean me, obviously. Because, My Life... it depends on me breathing, me being. There is no : other wise.

I think of all the people I've been. All the lessons I've learned. Partners. Homes. Pets. The promise of children that become a threat. Sercurity. Illusion. Delusion. I can easily say I've experienced all of it.

But not this.. A consistency that is not consistent. Bliss in the Abyss. I used to predict every thing. Scheduled. Organized. I was prepared from Monday through Sun day. I had money. I was "success full." Stable. But there were cracks in that as well.

I was always on edge. Unable to handle the little things that would inevitably happen. There was no way I could control all of it or any of it and the idea I could... that was an illusion I had to let go of or else I literally would have killed my self.

Life is Transcience. That natural flow from one to the other. We see it's movement most easily through water. We are water and these fluctuations in life, we must allow them to flow over us, one at a time. We have to find a way to remain at our center through the detriments of both heart ache and time or else we will find our selves suffocating down the line. To attach is to hold your self in one place, often, one pain... and no one deserves this.

Last night I listened to planes. Giants. In The Sky. So loud and penetrating it was hard to control my mind. That is the world today. Constant distraction. Taking you from that center of gravity that keeps you constant and focused. Unwavering. That is what you must be in the force of things that are hundreds of times greater than you. And, not force fully, not detrimentally, but, gently, like a flower that slowly starts to bloom. Opening towards the ray that was all ways meant to nurture you.

Hold Fast. Allow the light to shine upon you. Allow the dark to fall beside you. And, with time, you will find:

You've Opened Up.

Meagan Ishtar

Cancer...

13 August '12

It drives me crazy, the millions they say, going toward cancer research. A "Cure". Yeah Right. There is no cure. It changes and adapts. It's different for every person. There is no standard for health. Especially in this modern world. Nothing except good food and adequate exercise. That is All.

The rest is an ellimination process. An attempt to elliminate the many toxins you are exposed to, day in and day out, whether it's from your medication, your diet or the area you live in. Toxins are all around us. They are in the air we breathe, the water we drink, the soil we touch and depend on for every thing in this life we are living. The earth in every domesticated area is saturated with the build up of an economy that is designed to destroy it's self. Combine that with the magnitude of advertisement exposure telling us who to be and what to buy, paired with years of education in a system created to keep one from thinking & questioning... well it's no wonder the human race is festering. We are sick and cancer is our most classic example of it. Until everyone takes the responsiblity to cleanse their body, mind and spirit nothing will change in this world.

That is all.

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I love how people think I can't tell when they are lying. I mean.. I'm a therapist. I talk about it so infrequently that people must forget or something. But I pay attention to everything. Every little nuance that to most mean nothing but to me mean everything. The smirk as the thought of lying creeps up. The buildup of story telling. The over-dramatization. The drawing out of detail or inability to provide any. The anger and deflection that comes when I innocently and curiously point out indiscretion. The back tracking. The denial. The cover up. All of it. I'm so familiar with all of it. Like a fox who's pretended to be a sheep so long he calls his own fur wool now. It's a sad story until you change.

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